The Procrastination Weasel

So, I found this on a blog so I can't take credit for it but I thought it was fitting.  Procrastination is an interesting issue that can perpetuate things like weight gain, no exercise and a myriad of other things (I'm staring straight at my "junk" table and groaning).  If we think of it in the context written below it becomes something you can fight.  My procrastination weasel is usually the one that gives me excuses not to exercise, not to lose weight, not to do the dishes or make dinner every evening, you catch my drift.  If we face him off, maybe we will see some success!

There's a voice... trying to get you to procrastinate... this voice is the "Procrastination Weasel". The Weasel represents your old collection of procrastination thoughts.

The Procrastination Weasel wants to stop you from taking actions in your interest... and he isn't satisfied until he's robbed you of your money, health, and opportunities, made your house a mess, and has sunk you into depression. The Weasle's mission is to take your self-efficacy, your self-acceptance, and waste your valuable time.

Weasel Tactics

The Weasel is well-trained in how to affect you and is brutal in his tactics. He knows when to pop up and strike! Here's a list of his tactics:

Diversionary Actions

This is where the weasel pops up when you are set to take positive action and he creates an unwanted diversion. The result is playing video games, watching TV, daydreaming or another 'safe' activity. "Let's do something else instead!" the Weasel will tell you, and instead of going to the gym and working out you comply and stare at the TV with a bag of Cheetos.

The Weasel can convince you some of these diversions are somehow more important because they are happening Now. "Untold Secrets of the Ancient Pyramids" is only on TV NOW... and this paperwork will be here all week!"

Anti Self-Efficacy

The weasel tells us lies about our capabilities to get his own way... "Forget it buddy!" the Weasel will say "You can't do this!" This Weasel attack is aimed at your self-acceptance as well. The weasel rates you and tells you that you're just not capable of carrying out the task.

Awfulizing

The Weasel is a drama queen! With hand to forehead, the Weasel will tell you how awful your task is going to be. By the time the Weasel is done, a task as simple as washing the dishes becomes the Bataan Death March. The weasel's tactics here include 'warning' you that you will be bored, threatened, and inconvenienced.

Anti-Assertiveness

Another way the Weasel can awfulize a situation includes playing up the discomfort of telling someone else "no" to get a task accomplished. The Weasel will try to convince you that pleasing others is more important than your task.

Shouldn't Have To

The Weasel is great at telling you when you shouldn't have to do things. "You don't deserve this!" the weasel will say, laying out an entitlement that allows you to avoid the task... even though it's in your best self-interest!

Another version of this tactic is "The Excuse" where the Weasel coaches you into an alibi that seemingly absolves you of your responsibiltiy and creates a false entitlement to justify the avoidance.

Later Is Better

Here's where the Weasel convinces us that there's no lack of pressure, therefore our interest is served in waiting.. and waiting.. and waiting again. "Relax! Conditions will be better later! There's no reason to rush into this!" Here tasks are put off for another day... over and over.

Weasel Blitzkrieg

The blitzkrieg tactic will try to convince you "It's just too much!" The Weasel will pile one thing upon another until the tasks, including the old ones, appear insurmountable.

"It's hopeless!" the Weasel whispers in your ear "so why bother?"


Anti-Weasel Warfare

The following anti-Weasel tactics are aimed at reducing the effect this procrastinating pest has on your daily life.

Enemy Identification

Figure out how the weasel has been affecting you today. Write down the ways you been procrastinating and understand his game.

Battle Plan, Tactics, and Logistics

Create a reasonable mission statement and get your weapons ready for dealing with the Weasel. He's a tough adversary, but he can be defeated! Here's some anti-weasel tactics:

1. Create Clear Goals

The Weasel loves when our goals are not defined as it gives him the opportunity to flank us by telling us we aren't achieving enough. Making clear goals allows us to accurately plot and measure our progress.

2. Planning

Don't just have goals, work backwards from the goal you'd like to achieve and lay out a plan! If you'd like to achieve catching up on your paperwork at home, schedule time when you can start this task.

3. Anti-Weasel Chunking

Don't give the Weasel the opportunity to do the blitzkrieg on you! Break tasks into smaller bits and pieces to prevent getting overwhelmed. Don't insist that the entire task has to be done at once! Instead of "cleaning the house" as a task, start with one room, or simply schedule small amounts of time for these tasks.

4. Scheduling

Create a schedule whereby you can deal with re-curring tasks in an efficient manner. For instance, schedule time to do paperwork when you are least likely to be interrupted.

5. Use an Action List

The Weasel doesn't want you to feel a sense of accomplishment! Create an action list that not only points to the tasks at hand, but allows you to record your successes!

6. Create Your Own Motivation

"Action Creates Motivation" is an anti-Weasel tool! Use the 15-minute tactic on the Weasel to get going... just get up and work on a task for 15 minutes... the activity will create your motivation. Break it into an even smaller time, say 5 minutes, if an all-out Weasel attack is occurring.

7. Pick a D-Day

Set a date and plan to declare war! Get all your goals, plans, and anti-weasel training in place... and decide when you are going to deploy!

8. Deal Effectively with Setbacks

The Weasel is a skilled enemy! Don't believe you've lost the war if he wins a battle or two. Watch out that you don't start believing his propaganda! Make adjustments to your plans and re-deploy.

9. Catch-Up and Keep-Up

Dedicate your resources to both catch-up and keep-up tasks. Try to deal with items as they come up rather than to have them end up in your catch-up pile.

10. Practice, Patience, Persistence

Understand that defeating the Procrastination Weasel is a matter of practicing anti-Weasel techniques. The more you practice, the easier it becomes! Destroy the Weasel's morale by being persistant in your fight... but be patient with yourself as you hone your battle skills.

12. Bayonet the Weasel

HALT! Who goes there (in my thoughts)? OH! It's YOU, Weasel! Take THIS!

Habits...aren't those what nuns wear?

Well yes, but that's not the kind of habits I'm talking about.  I'm talking about the sit-on-the-couch-and-watch-tv-while-eating-a-big-bowl-of-ice-cream kind of habits and the what-the-hell-is-a-carrot kind of habits that got me into this mess in the first place.  Of course, I can't really remember when I acquired these sweet, little behaviors, but here I am and now I'm thinking.  It's a dangerous place...

Dictionary.com defines a habit as "an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has almost become involuntary."  Hmmm.  Interesting.  There are a couple of key words in there, did you catch them?

The first bit would be that a habit, according to the web-based dictionary gurus, is a behavior.  Now, I realize this might seem elementary, but given my expertise in being a big girl, I have a variety of excuses that would claim that my weight and lifestyle are part of my personality and genetics.  But they are saying that it's behavior!  Ludicrous!  Why, you ask?  Because if it's a behavior, and not only that, but an acquired behavior, then I might just have some control over it.  Well isn't that just a bag of crazy!

Of course it's not and I know that.  But now that I know I might have some control over it, what does that mean?  It means that I might actually be able to lose all the weight I'm supposed to.  It means I can exercise on a daily basis.  It kinda shoots all the excuses I've had for being okay with the status quo right in their big ol' foot.  Darn, they were pretty comfy excuses.

Then, those silly masters of terminology went and threw in that a behavior followed eventually becomes a behavior that is almost involuntary.  So what is it?  Are my bad health habits in or out of my control?  Sheesh, take a side already. 

But really, how I read that is that while I might have some bad health habits, I am still the only person in control of me and my behaviors.  And if I want to change those behaviors, I can do it, because they are only almost involuntary.  And, according to this, if I want to acquire a new habit then I'm going to have to follow that new habit until it becomes almost involuntary too.  Right?  Simple logic, clean, direct, sounds easy.

And it really is.  Honestly, when we put our minds to anything we really can do it.  It's the putting our minds to it that's the trick.  Like how I am at 5am when I need to go workout and I know that I just have to get out of bed and it will be okay.  It's the getting out of bed that's the hard part!  I'm my worst enemy when it comes to making excuses or ignoring what I really know to be healthy in lieu of something that might make me feel happy, but only for the short term.  In the process of changing behavior, it's really pretty simple and at the same time takes A LOT of work.  People who haven't ever acquired bad habits (and I'm not sure there's a single person out there who hasn't) and have tried to change their behavior won't understand what that is like.  It's a complete mind shift.

I think of it like this:  I love sweets.  I love everything sweet and delicious.  Now, my bad habits/behaviors have always led me toward the cookie table.  A real example would be this luncheon I went to last week at work.  They had a delicious salad buffet and healthy wraps and right at the end of the table was a platter of oh so yummy looking cookies and brownies and desserts.  I caught myself gravitating toward it over and over, hovering, eyes gazing longingly, damn near drooling.  It was the habit, the unnatural urge that kept pulling me back that was so unnerving.  And yet I was able to consciously stay away with a quick and mindful redirect that my health wouldn't sustain another cookie (this is what I tell myself...) and that honestly I don't want it.  Of course my body is screaming at me that I want it , I NEED it and if I can't have it I'm going to wither away.  Well, that last part is anything but true, I think we can all agree about that.  :-)  The point is that it took me three rounds with the cookie tray before my mind was like, uh uh, no way and turned my feet in the opposite direction.  It can be very hard to re-train your brain.

These days, instead of indulging that sweet tooth with cookies, I've started to replace it with sweet fruits and they satisfy me just as well and maybe more.  The watermelon I have in the fridge is especially delicious. I figure that slowly, as I consciously re-arrange my lifestyle and restrict myself to the natural types of food to sustain my cravings, I will begin to make these behaviors, these choices, these habits "almost involuntary" to a point where my mind will naturally guide me to the salad and fruit buffet and ignore the other parts.  Of course, 29 years of bad habits doesn't go away overnight, so this is going to be an interesting process to be sure.

And if you need some clues and ideas on how to eat healthy, I suggest spying on someone who has the complete opposite habits as you do...that's what I've been doing and I'm pretty sure one of my co-workers thinks I'm stalking her.  Oh well. 

What bad habits are you going to change this week?